Think about it.
A lot of things have to come together in just the right order to park.
One bad calculation and you’re exchanging insurance information.
But it’s so automatic and out of my awareness now.
No thought given to the nerves from the early days.
Any near misses have been erased from memory.
All I see now is that I’ve always been able to park.
That same sort of thing happens when I think of myself.
So used to being me that I don’t think about it.
But a conversation later last week pulled it back into focus.
When is who you think you are really who you are, versus something you decided.
Take for example, my go to image of myself is that of an introvert.
Complete with a never to be cured chronic case of cat craziness.
Invisible, hibernate at home, don’t rock the boat, wall flower is what I do best.
That’s who I know myself to be.
Hold the phone there, Charlie.
I’ve rocked boats and spoken what others don’t dare say.
MCed department Christmas parties – and had a lot of fun.
Even get excited about going out to cat cafes and escape rooms.
Please, please don’t tell me I’m an extrovert.
Let’s not get silly here.
I’m clearly an introvert.
Maybe just not the hermit I long to be on overfilled days.
But I’m also not invisible.
That was a story – actually, more like a pact, made up a long time ago to protect myself.
What happened though, was I made introvert mean the same as invisible and pressed auto-pilot.
Only when I give closer attention to the created intertwining I see more clearly.
Introvert is a facet of who I am.
There’s a sense of alignment, trueness, and empowerment when I’m being more of that.
Guilt free, not trying to make it wrong or justify it.
Invisible, on the other hand, is something I made up for myself.
Remaining invisible actually takes me further away from being more me.
And in many ways, zaps more energy.
Playing games takes effort, after all.
Long story short – who we think we are isn’t necessarily who we really are.
It’s worthwhile now and again, … and again, to observe and re-evaluate given what you know now.
Is there a certain way you define yourself that may be worth another look?
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