Although each instance appeared a bit differently, the common thread was being employed vs self-employed.
With a rare exception, the thoughts trended towards being employed was easier.
Your time was your own outside of work.
You didn’t have to worry about where or when the next client would appear.
You didn’t have to decide what to do.
Confession time – I likely noticed this because the same thoughts have crossed my mind.
When you’re tired, all you want to do is share with the world what you do best.
All that business stuff like funnels and sales and bookkeeping gets in the way.
Why not have somebody else take care of the not-at-all-fun stuff so you can get down to work?
The Matrix flashed to mind.
Specifically, the steak scene where Cypher says:
I know this steak doesn’t exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss.
Sure can feel that way.
Put in your time, go about your business and forget about everything else.
Only being employed doesn’t solve all the problems either.
I remember working many a late night and weekend wishing for more control over my time.
Without appropriate compensation either.
Putting on a happy face when assigned to projects I despised wasn’t any fun.
Nor was having my career path (and glass ceiling) determined by others.
Employed or self-employed is not the question.
One is not better than the other.
Both have pros and cons.
Both address life’s situation at the time.
Both can be the best expression of who you really are.
Why then does the grass look greener on the other side right now?
What’s going on that leads me to entertain thoughts the other path is easier?
The obvious answer is it’s the path of least resistance.
Wait a minute.
Resistance against what?
Tired of what?
Not being able to help more people.
Not helping more people because why?
Because it’s hard to connect with clients.
It’s hard to connect with clients because why?
Because I’m an introvert.
And being an introvert is a problem because why?
Because I have to be visible. Even though I know I have to let others know I exist.
I have to connect with strangers.
Or ask for help connecting with strangers.
Chat with people who don’t know me.
Risk Total. Utter. Embarrassment. (and Failure.)
It’s waaaaayyyyy out of my comfort zone.
I hate calling myself out on my own crap.
I’ve been so wrapped up in the possibility of failing that I’m guaranteeing not succeeding.
In all reality, the risk of failure always exists but is far, far less likely than truly being of help to others.
Screwing up is the potential price of showing up.
Will I or won’t I remains in limbo until I give it an honest try.
Clarity appears – I’m not ready to be an employee again.
Not from it being a failure or avoidance.
But because it won’t serve how I can best be my true self and best be of service to others.
Placing my fears in that context changes everything.
Being myself is far more important than the gazillion reasons to hold back.
I will find a way.
Because there is a way waiting to be found.
It all begins with choosing to see it.
feel free to share
chief nudging officer
Crazy for cats and potatoes, Lorraine's insatiable curiosity of Life leads her to question, explore and push beyond the box. A self-professed "left-brained creative big picture" type, she has an intuitive knack for seeing beyond and beneath first appearances while at the same time nerding out on the details. Most of all she sees and holds others in their highest until they can see it for themselves.