Ebb and flow.
Busyness and quiet.
Avoidance and diving in.
Spinning about and finding traction.
Attachment and letting go.
Or rather let go.
That’s what most caught my attention.
Had a phone call yesterday from a friend.
She’s worked tirelessly for what seems forever trying to bring positive change to the Village where we used to live.
Leaving our beautiful view there was a direct result of not wanting to be part of that fight any longer.
Doing so would keep me from my real work in the world.
And the inner call for (still to happen) rural acreage living sealed the deal.
Anyhow, next week she’s meeting with a municipal inspector and wondered if I had a document from 2013.
(Of course, I did.)
She explained all the infighting and shenanigans still going on, including a racially motivated incident.
Dumbfounded doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt.
But the jaw dropping and head shaking came without strings attached.
I could relate to what was going on without being tied back into the dog-with-a-bone-we-can-make-this-right energy.
And it felt G.O.O.D.
But when did it happen?
Moving itself didn’t cut the ties.
I check out the Village website or Facebook page once in a while.
Even as recent as late last year I was raging riled over their proposed cat by-law.
There definitely weren’t any concerted efforts around letting it all go and leaving the past behind.
No switches were flipped.
What then caused the cords to drop away without notice or fanfare?
The only thing I can think of –
focusing on something new.
Not to push down or off to the side what I wanted behind me,
but to pursue what were obvious sparks needing more air time.
Moving was getting out of the situation.
Last year’s full out acreage hunt was trying to create a solution.
Neither approach did anything to address the underlying issue – I needed to be more me.
Until that happened, I’d be tethered to the past until making connections with what’s ahead.
Even if I wasn’t clear as to exactly what that looked like.
What might appear to be small steps at a time can end up being a leap without even realizing it.
As long as you keep feeling your way through the unknowns.
Must say, I am truly enjoying the awareness – and energy – of this new found freedom.
feel free to share