I remember being taken aback the first time I felt joy.
Not happiness, elation, or passion – pure joy.
There I was strolling across the lawn at Heritage Park for the hundredth time with my nephew and niece. In the blink of an eye I was taken aback, watching myself watch the kids while being acutely aware of what must be joy or is-ness, for loss of a useful word.
The experience felt like one of reaching across a thinned veil or portal opening into another realm where I could see both sides existed.
Or at least I was now privy to a lot more about this one.
This seemingly innocent weekly outing started a chain reaction.
At first I wanted more. I wanted that feeling all the time.
Yet it remained elusive.
So I finally gave up.
But joy would sneak back in every once in a while when I was least expecting.
Like in the middle of an activity to crown the winner of Best Anger Outrage at a workshop.
How could I feel such joy while being so angry?
I know now letting the anger go let more of the real me flow.
You know the saying “love is in the air” – so too is joy.
I began to realize joy is like the air because there is nowhere joy is not.
We don’t search for air when we can’t see it. Instead we look for evidence with the feel of a breeze or the movement of trees.
Whether we “see” air or not, we continue to breathe in and out and allowing air to flow through us.
Searching was the wrong way to go about finding the joy I touched that day in Heritage Park.
I needed to open up and allow joy to flow through. I needed to breathe what is always here.
Do I feel joy every moment? Certainly not.
But I don’t need to feel joy all the time in order to know joy is there waiting to be felt.
Which I do with a mere glimpse of a sunset, hearing the purr of a cat, having a great conversation with the bank teller, or just eating mashed potatoes.
Joy is not the elusive one. I am.
Being ever more me is the invitation for joy to flow in.
I have been asked to join BlissHabits.com as a regular contributor to the community. The focus of the series, Living Bliss with Lorraine, is about taking look at where Life bumps into the everyday – whether at work, play or times in between. From diving deeper into the seemingly ordinary pops forward the extraordinary life we search for – and has been there waiting for us to be.
I’ll be adding additional insights and commentary to the weekly series so be sure to check here as well. The first Bliss Habit is Joy beginning May 1, 2013.
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