If we’re going to embrace what a new perspective on growing older really could be, then we face a lifetime of transitions ahead of us.
The ups and downs just aren’t going to go away.
But no longer do we have to be tossed about at the mercy of change, wondering what is going on.
Knowing our own signs of a growth spurt, even the tiniest hints, means we gain access to the larger view of the map. The current situation becomes a stretch of road instead of a final destination.
With this awareness we can make different decisions to support ourselves navigating the way through to the other side.
Here are a four key considerations that may help you move through the periods of transition, upheaval and change:
Change releases energy. Imagine blowing up a balloon with the pressure continuing to build and build. Something has to give. Burst or release.
Not one for formal exercising myself, jumping jacks, dancing, enthusiastic spring-summer-fall-winter housecleaning, punching the air or a pillow, painting, a brisk long walk, shoveling, moving rocks or anything to get your legs and arms moving will work. Pay attention for changes in how clear or open you feel inside.
While I can’t go into great depths around breathing and breath work, open, free flowing breathing is important for clarity – both literally and figuratively.
The next time you feel yourself straining to see a sign or something off in the distance: stop, open your shoulders to expand your chest, take in and exhale a deep breath or six, and relax. Observe, not struggle, what becomes clearer. Our vision is directly effected by our breathing. The more tense and narrowly focused we are, the more we are in our heads and less likely to truly Listen to what we are being shown. Restricted breathing leads to restricted sight on both levels.
Breathing is useful for moving energy as well. Take in a deep breath, envisioning fresh clear energy expanding your chest to its fullest. Hold for a moment, making note of how your body feels inside. Exhale by blowing forcefully out through your mouth until your lungs feel empty, and be careful not to hyperventilate. During the exhale, picture the energy rushing out through the soles of your feet and carrying all the ‘stuckness’ along too. Breathe open and gently, noticing how your body feels. Repeat this inhale and exhale procedure 2-3 more times until you feel clear and free. Should some ‘stuckness’ remain, go about your activities and repeat later.
Please seek the appropriate professional medical advice to ensure these techniques are suitable for you if you wish to try them.
Once again, talking is another form of moving energy. All those muddled thoughts are draining as they take on a life of their own when bottled up inside. If you’ve ever felt a sense of relief just saying something out loud, you well know the sense of space and freedom that releasing your thoughts can create. Whether you talk to yourself or somebody else, by getting the thoughts out of your head you:
- Acknowledge the frustration, confusion, anger, tiredness and the myriad of other emotions dampening their power. Feeling what you feel morphs the focus from struggling to avoid into relaxing to allow.
- Gain a different perspective on the pieces as they rearrange themselves into their own space. Different patterns and connections emerge. Don’t worry about anything making sense or leaving anything out. Covering the same ground over and over is fine – and expected.
And when you decide to share with others what is happening:
- They will know where you’re coming from instead of creating false reasons of their own. They may not understand, but at least they will know. You don’t have to tell the world, and you don’t have to tell everything. Use the ‘age appropriate’ philosophy as a guideline.
- You will find those who are going through the same experience, or have gone before you. Staying silent means you stay separated, unable to discover you are not alone. Test the waters with a toe dip and you’ll be surprised how many are willing to accept your invitation with a “me too!”.
- You can find support, even amongst those who don’t understand. Upon being forced to invite my engineer-father-of-few-words into the energy world at my Reiki Master graduation ceremony, I was scared, nervous, almost embarrassed. For the first time ever he told me all he wanted was for me to be happy.
- You open the door for dots to be connected in different ways. We often overlook the obvious or head down a certain line of thinking which acts as blinders. Bringing in alternative perspectives moves us out of a single train of thought and allows new patterns to be seen. These deeper conversations will likely occur with a few trusted people who get you. A like-minded class, community or a partner / coach are among options to explore when you don’t feel like you know someone who really understands what you’re going through. Even if you do know someone, having objective insights often sparks different inspirations and connections those closer to you can miss as well.
Rather than trying to make things better as quickly as possible, STOP. Relax, step back and become the observer. Be kind and compassionate with yourself as you make space to Listen, explore and even not think about all of this for awhile. The mind’s incredible ability to focus prevents you from seeing what’s available in your peripheral vision. Expectations also have the ability to filter out signs, answers or repeated messages because they don’t appear in a particular way. By paying attention and allowing yourself to hear, even what you might not want to hear, you can respond to the road signs along the way.
Using these four keys can create big differences in how you move through change.
Anticipate a few more bumpy roads and detours here and there, but you are far better equipped to handle what is ahead.
Up next we’ll take a closer look at Listening.
What do you best support yourself through transitions and change?
feel free to share
chief nudging officer
Crazy for cats and potatoes, Lorraine's insatiable curiosity of Life leads her to question, explore and push beyond the box. A self-professed "left-brained creative big picture" type, she has an intuitive knack for seeing beyond and beneath first appearances while at the same time nerding out on the details. Most of all she sees and holds others in their highest until they can see it for themselves.