Finding Focus

Person focused on to do list misses reason behind lack of focus

Hard not to find focus when it’s appearing everywhere I turn.

Clearly the message was about not having any.

I’ve been all over the place of late with too many irons in the fire.

And a lot of those are filling time while waiting on a few key things to happen.

Why bother starting something only to push it aside once there’s a go.

Let’s not even talk about a self-created complexity of details demanding more attention than necessary.

 

In my defense, all was under control.

Well, sort of.

Not really.

 

Inner Voice’s nudges to move on anyway were getting harder to ignore.

The Courses have become quite vocal and snippy about not seeing the light of day.

Abandoned ideas around raising awareness and funds to help cats has given me the dreaded cold shoulder.

 

But hey, with all this “other” stuff being immediate concerns, they’ll have to wait their turn.

 

Until all came to a head on Friday.

 

With a whole day to myself, I woke up primed and pumped.

This was Get Back On Track Day.

Pull everything together and come up with a plan.

Cats snoozed and caffeine filled the carafe.

Here. We. Go!

 

For the next four hours, I watched myself piss away the time.

Like a parent with all the patience in the world watching a child spin their wheels learning something new.

 

Where was that marketing webinar again?

Is the volume working right.

What? We have to fill in worksheets.

Better go print them.

Will they print in black and white?

Don’t have spare ink cartridges.

I’m hungry.

Think I need some crackers.

Better check email.

 

What the h-e-double-hockey-sticks was going on?

Enough of this already.

 

For as much as I didn’t want to hear the answer,

it came.

 

By doing everything else, I couldn’t work on what was important to me.

If I didn’t work on what was important to me, I couldn’t be vulnerable.

Or fail.

If I wasn’t vulnerable or didn’t fail, then I couldn’t feel disappointment.

Or embarassment.

If I wasn’t disappointed or embarrassed, then I couldn’t feel crappy.

If I didn’t feel crappy, then I wasn’t a loser.

If I wasn’t a loser, then I’d be happy.

Except I wouldn’t be happy either.

Because I wouldn’t have at least risked trying.

But I could feel good for keeping busy.

 

Ha.

There it is.

Damn.

 

You think you’ve worked through these things once and for all,

and then it shows up again when you least expect it.

I know better than all of this.

But I stopped paying attention for when it shows up.

So it did.

I’m back on watch again.

I have its number, instead of it having mine.

 

Ping!

Focus isn’t all about narrowing in, knuckling down and plowing through.

That approach may overcome, but doesn’t deal with the real issues.

The flow and ease we’d love to have with focus comes from not having other things in the way in the first place.

 

FOCUS = figure out cause(s) underneath self-sabotage

 

Putting a whole bunch of stuff in the way doesn’t help either.

Being clear about what’s truly important makes it easy to focus on what’s important.

More isn’t always better.

 

FOCUS = figured out core underpinning simplicity

 

Don’t be fooled.

Simplicity can be very complex.

In a very empowering and different way.

As opposed to the complexity of juggling a lot of unnecessary stuff.

The difference in how the two feel is a signal itself.

 

Have you lost focus recently? What might it being telling you?

 

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Lorraine

Not quite a crazy cat lady (yet?) – Lorraine’s insatiable curiosity of life leads her to explore, question and push beyond the box. A self-professed “left-brained creative big picture idea” type, she has an intuitive knack for seeing possibility everywhere and in everyone, and is a moth-to-flame for being part of making that possibility come true.

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