While not feeling nervous about the lengthy dental appointment ahead of me, I didn’t want to think about it either.
With a good hour of Mind being distracted with driving duties, it was the perfect time for obserflecting on what has been appearing of late.
Funnily enough, what popped to mind immediately was things falling apart.
In the past few weeks, I’ve heard more times than coincidence about people heading towards giving up.
They were tired of things not working or not seeing the results they should.
Not much fessing up needed here – I’m one of them too.
You know from last week, I’m tired of being tired.
Seriously now, there has to be a magic wand out there filled with fairy dust to take care of everything.
So many others out there look like they have their crap together.
“Why not me? What’s wrong with me?” has been a common refrain amongst us all.
Then another thought popped to mind.
“This isn’t about giving up, it’s about clearing away.”
That’s an entirely different perspective.
Hadn’t thought of that.
At that moment, I realized a year from now is going to be entirely different.
No more same-old, same-old.
Coaching and consulting are going to take off,
or I’ll be doing something else.
No more pokes and prods.
The Universe threw down Its gloves.
I’m being punted out of the cushy comfort zone of being out there just enough but not too much.
(This is my underlying reason for feeling like giving up, not necessarily everyone I’ve heard talk about giving up.
But they will have a similar reason.)
This wasn’t entirely a shock.
I’ve recognized earlier signs of pokes and prods and have taken baby steps.
Might be better described as
dragging and hesitating crawling though.
There’s no question the year ahead is going to be entirely different.
Lots of hanging way outside my comfort zone.
You could call it filling some skill gaps –
or taking some risks being visible and learning how to be a marketer.
On one hand, it feels so scary I don’t even know how to feel scared about it – yet.
The message is so clear the feeling is more so resignation.
Get out of my own way.
There are big plans ahead!
On the other hand, I honestly don’t even know if I hate marketing.
I could talk for hours about change, transformation and SEO.
I love supporting others in being their true selves, showing up & being visible and getting their work into the world.
[Ahem. Clears throat.]
My hurdle is connecting with those I can most help.
That’s a different problem.
I’ve been focused on solving the wrong thing.
So feeling like I’m careening towards giving up makes sense.
Life isn’t going to be the same.
There’s nothing to hold onto.
Nothing that’s been holding me back needs to be brought forward.
There’s a whole bunch of beliefs about who I am, what I can do and what I enjoy (or not) that have been holding me back.
In some ways, it feels like the Universe has taken on a scorched earth approach.
No going back and staying put.
The only option is forward.
The cool thing about giving up, clearing the way for what’s ahead and knowing change is going to happen one way or the other –
you also let go of expecting how that has to look.
Not bringing along the past greatly shortens the path to beyond imagination.
Paying attention to what’s appearing becomes more important than defining what it has to look like.
Good thing Universe is so good at poking me along.
There’s not going to be a lot of time spent in the comfort zone ahead.
But there are inklings here and there a new groove will be found.
Your guess is as good as mine as to what that will look like.
How’s your year ahead shaping up – straight ahead or whole sale change, very clear or can’t even imagine right now?
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